


old men group chat

by anthrophobiart



Category: David Bowie (Musician), The Beatles (Band), The Rolling Stones
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-12 20:33:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 1,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29390580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anthrophobiart/pseuds/anthrophobiart
Summary: this is a shitty modern au group chat amongst chaotic characters written with a pal of mine
Relationships: David Bowie/Keith Richards, David Bowie/Mick Jagger, George Harrison/Ringo Starr, John Lennon/Paul McCartney, Mick Jagger/Keith Richards
Comments: 1
Kudos: 3





	1. one

hando has created a group chat 

pirate: no

keef: what

pirate: I said n o

st mccarthyism: you're mean >:((

✌️: But he wasn't talking to you-

swagbowie: who 

keef: w h a t

swagbowie: do ik anyone here 🚬

swagbowie: *💔

hando: maybe.. maybe not😳😳

keef: what is going o n 

keef: mick's in this?

hando: like I said earlier maybe maybe not😳

pirate: bro 

hando: yes my lad you have a question

swagbowie: oh micks with me he's in this ywc 

swagbowie: *yes *hes

hando: like i have said many times before maybe maybe not how do you guys not understand

pirate: what does that even MEAN JOHN

hando: you know what it means

✌️: But then why would he ask,, 

hando: anyways I'm assuming we all know each other so hopefully we don't need to do weird awkward introductions right

st mccarthyism: it's george 

swagbowie: ✨💅✌️💖😼

keef: we do not know each other that's what i've been asking this whole time-

hando: okay then who wants to introduce themselves to the class

swagbowie: hi 💅 im david ✨ im 17 💖

swagger: omg shut up ✨

st mccarthyism: hey we don't tolerate bullying here >:(((

keef: who is ✌️ i'm so confused

hando: someone very special

✌️: ^ 

hando: okay since everyone is being awkward and no one knows what's going on what do we do now

swagbowie: im nit akwhc

swagger: why 

swagbowie: 💅💅

pirate: why are we even here

swagger: i mean i'm sure you guys know me

✌️: I don't

swagbowie: damn micj"s poor ego 💔 do you need a bandaid for that honey 💔

pirate: I don't think I know anyone here because SOMEONE won't explain what's going on

hando: i got lonely and bored, and i knew keith and paul and you and ringo and then i added some random people they followed 

st mccarthyism: aw poor john he doesn't have friends💔

swagger: WHAT EGO

swagbowie: WHAT DI YOU MEAN

pirate: I love how the first few minutes of this is just us arguing

✌️: Are they like together, the swag ones

keef: no and they are not swag

st mccarthyism: really because they are acting like my parents and I mistook this for a family groupchat

swagger: I DONT HAVE AN EGO 

swagbowie: honey. 

swagger: do not

swagbowie: h o n e y

keef: they're not together.

st mccarthyism: alrighty then.. if you say so..

hando: wait yeah poor me pity me 

pirate: no❤️

st mccarthyism: no ❤️

hando: damn.. ya meanies


	2. two?

✌️: The Awkward Silence™

pirate: you haven't even said anything either also that guy named teef

✌️: I get overlooked anyway 

st mccarthyism: f in the chat for rings💔

keef: ouch okay wow

swagbowie: omg thats do said no

swagbowie: *hug for ringo* 

hando: don't worry ringo I shall give you a kiss mwah

✌️: :') 

keef: what did i d o

pirate: what is even going on

swagbowie: keef stealing my mans

swagger: WHAT

swagbowie: oh whoops *stealing my mangos 

pirate: wait.. are you dating ringo..

pirate: wait I'm dumb

st mccarthyism: fun fact did you know you can marry a truck

keef: wait no back up,,

swagger: hold on

swagbowie: I MEANT MANGOS

✌️: Wait what im single-

hando: not sure what's going on but I'm enjoying it 


	3. t h r e e ?

✌️: The Awkward Silence™

pirate: you haven't even said anything either also that guy named teef

✌️: I get overlooked anyway 

st mccarthyism: f in the chat for rings💔

keef: ouch okay wow

swagbowie: omg thats do said no

swagbowie: *hug for ringo* 

hando: don't worry ringo I shall give you a kiss mwah

✌️: :') 

keef: what did i d o

pirate: what is even going on

swagbowie: keef stealing my mans

swagger: WHAT

swagbowie: oh whoops *stealing my mangos 

pirate: wait.. are you dating ringo..

pirate: wait I'm dumb

st mccarthyism: fun fact did you know you can marry a truck

keef: wait no back up,,

swagger: hold on

swagbowie: I MEANT MANGOS

✌️: Wait what im single-

hando: not sure what's going on but I'm enjoying it 


	4. ~four~

hando: if you have a gaydar youre gay so 💔

keef: no tell me first

pirate: shut up john you just revealed your elvis obsession in a few minutes

swagbowie: OMG MICK UNLOCK YOUR WINDOW 

pirate: im scared what did you do

keef: so are you bot gonna answer

swagger: oh i think my mom lockednit hold on

pirate: oh im sorry djbdn uhh i am straight

savoytruffle: sureeee 

hando: damn buster just gonna expose him like that

keef: i guessed like bi but female leaning like omni 

st mccarthyism: geo caught lying😳😳

savoytruffle: hes lying 💔

hando: cmon geo we cant lie here💔 how am i going to find out your weakness

keef: i guessed mick and david were bi and i was right 

✌️: Alrighty so who's next

swagbowie: doesnt george ask someone now

pirate: okay uhh swagbowie person truth or dare since you mentioned it

swagbowie: for anyone wondering i did get into micjs window 

swagbowie: D A R E 💅

✌️: are you going to steal something from mick,,

swagbowie: no im just laying on his bed 

pirate: alright so uhh slap mick i guess do it for me❤️

swagbowie: but idk if hes into that 

swagger: whoa,, 

keef: w h a t

swagbowie: OH YOU MEANT LIKE A BAD SLAP

hando: HEY THIS IS A CHILD FRIENDLY CHAT GEO IS A CHILD

swagger: he did it btw it was very gentle 

swagbowie: hlwait hwo okd are youguys 

swagbowie: me and mick and keef are all 17 ik rhat

hando: well so are me and paulie but ringo is 18 and lil geo is almost 17

swagbowie: ADULT ALERT 

swagbowie: wait omg youre so cool 

✌️: hehehe lil kiddies

swagbowie: whats it like being old 

✌️: well as someone that can legally drink and not have to worry about my parents like you losers, it feels great

swagbowie: omg legend 💔

swagbowie: anyways keef t or d 

keef: um dare

swagbowie: i dare you to tell us your crush

keef: THATS THE SAME AS TRUTH

swagbowie: IT COUNTS DOESNT IT

hando: too bad no chickening out

keef: i dont have one

swagger: keith. 

keef: but-

swagger: tell us the truth 

swagbowie: cmon babe tell us

hando: cmon buster

keef: but 

hando: cmon dont be shy

keef: what jf there's multiple can i just say one

swagbowie: yeah just one

hando: hmm i didnt think of that

keef: okay…………. um im debating which one to admit

keef: okay fine its you david can i go

swagbowie: omg im si popular ✨

hando: yes thank you

hando: its so true that even i, someone who barely knows you, is madly in love with you

keef: actually i dont wanna go because um john truth or dare

swagbowie: i have three people in love with me 💅

hando: uh dare

keef: uh um record yourself singing i know everyone hates doing that

hando: alrighty bet

swagger: first of all id gladly record myself singing smh, second of all david i am not in love with yoh so

hando: that shows your ego my lad

swagbowie: first of all micj as john said you have a huge ass ego and second of all u didnt say you were the third meaning uou are the third

hando: [1 attachment] there 


	5. plead the fifth

hando: alrighty so rings truth or dare

✌️: Truth

swagger: WAIT NO I JUST ASSUMED YOU IMPLIED- 

hando: what did you assume he implied❤️

hando: anyways rings is it true that you secretly hate this chat

swagbowie: hes in love with me 100%

✌️: I dont hate this chat its pretty entertaining but also annoying at times because of john and only john 

hando: you big meanie💔 anyways now you have to ask someone

✌️: Um eric t or d 

savoytruffle: dare 💔

st mccarthyism: not me thinking he meant titty or dick

swagbowie: me too paul 💔

✌️: I dare you to uh…? 

✌️: I dare you to 

✌️: Wait

keef: relatable

swagbowie: is kissing gay 

swagbowie: like two guys kissing

hando: depends, why do you ask

pirate: well if its like family then not necessarily cause thats incest

swagbowie: so it is gay

pirate: i mean i guess

swagger: DAVID ROBERT JONES STFU

hando: you have something to share with the class I think we would like to know

✌️: I dare you to put mentos in coke and drink it

savorytruffle: alrighty bet I'll be back

hando: anyways, michael and saint david do you have something to share

swagbowie: i do not

swagger: he didnt do anything,,

pirate: i dont trust you losers

swagbowie: i just wanted to know

pirate: alrighty then weird question but okay

swagbowie: i wanted to know if i was being gay

swagger: YOU COULVE STOPPED IT THERE BUT NO

✌️: w h a t

hando: you sure you have nothing to share, not even a smidge

david: nope 

hando: alrighty then, if you say so

savoytruffle: i think i have died 

hando: same❤️ when did you notice

pirate: eric ask someone,,

keef: john we all know you wanna die calm down 

hando: just had to give a reminder :(((

keef: its hard to come up with them 


	6. 6

swagger: it has been done

swagbowie: do we trade back or,, 

savoytruffle: not sure thats your choice,,

swagger: we can keep these i like this shirt

swagger: we're like the exact same size

savoytruffle: okay now you have to ask someone titty or dick

✌️: Do either of you eat,, 

swagbowie: no <3

swagger: ummmm paul titty or dick

st mccarthyism: uh titty

swagger: lemme google good questions hold on   
swagger: okay how long have you gone without showering like whats your record

swagbowie: i just thought of such a good one omg 💔

st mccarthyism: before I answer whats your weird good question swagbowie,,

swagbowie: do you still not know my name its david 


	7. 777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777

hando: hmm titty

st mccarthyism: i came back and all i see is hmm tity and i am so confused

✌️: Who in this group chat do you find most attractive skittles?

keef: IM CRYING

swagbowie: hmm titty

✌️: I keep wanting to type but I have to end everything in skittles i hate it here skittles

hando: but its wonderful dont you love it

hando: anyways I guess i'll choose me 


End file.
